DEGREE OF PERSONAL SEXUAL SATISFACTION
Any relationship is bound to have its physical ups and downs. However, a realistic appraisal of personal satisfaction is something that must be faced if a couple is to reach an enlightened connection. In the case of Rachel and Joshua, their sexual problem was, interestingly enough, related to the society in which they lived. A couple in their early twenties, they had been married for a year when they came to see me. Participants in an arranged marriage dictated by their culture, they were expected to have children as soon as possible. They told their respective families that they were seeing doctors to address their fertility problem.
Sadly, whether fertility was an obstacle was a moot question. The fact was they had only achieved intercourse a couple of times. At his young age, Joshua was experiencing erectile dysfunction.
“Our parents brought us together, we got married, and now we’re expected to have children,” Joshua told me with frustration rising in his voice. “We want to—of course. It’s just that I can’t perform regularly.
I don’t understand it!”
His physical exam revealed abnormally high cholesterol, which, I hastened to explain, very often contributes to ED as a man ages. I suspected that in Joshua’s case, the ongoing pressure to immediately build a family might be the major culprit and I suggested a consultation be with a sex therapist.
After numerous sessions, the therapist reluctantly agreed that no progress had been made. It was at this time that Joshua and Rachel enrolled in the Vasomax study.
My only concern in their case was that they had little frame of reference to compare before-and-after personal sexual experiences. “We’ve been together for a while now,” Rachel ventured, “and, despite the problems we’ve been having, we’ve been able to get to know each other in a very positive way. What I see this pill giving us is the opportunity to build on what we’ve already established. If we can get over this hurdle, I’m convinced that the love and affection we have for one another will move us forward to where we want to go.”
Joshua nodded in agreement. “Rachel is right. We want to get past this dark period and move on—even if it takes us a while to do it.”
Happily, the pill did for them what they hoped it would, and their joint feelings made the outcome the satisfying one they were hoping for. The personal satisfaction issues in this case were:
• mutual frustration at the lack of a sex life
• shared comfort in the basic relationship, based on compatibility
• anticipation of exciting and fulfilling sexual experiences—as well as becoming first-time parents
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