HOW TO BECOME A BETTER LOVER – MAIN COMPLAINS
The women in The Hite Report had five main complaints about their vers. First, many women enjoyed touching and caressing for the leasure of the activity itself and not necessarily only as a prelude to intercourse. The touching could be from lying pressed close together; or gentle and passionate kissing; or sleeping together in a close embrace. Second, many women complained about the dull routine of sexual intercourse. Inevitably, sex began with kisses, then the woman’s breasts were explored, then her clitoral area, while she fondled the man’s penis, then, and rather too rapidly, sexual intercourse started and when the man had come it was all over. This is an exaggerated version of the man’s lack of sensitivity to his partner’s needs, but it seems to have been a ‘consistent’ pattern of sex for many of the women. Third, many women complained that their lover did not really care about arousing them in a passionate way. Many of the men spent too little time in trying to arouse their partner, or did it in the wrong way, and, worse, having aroused her, did not help her to orgasm. The man either expected the woman to reach orgasm simultaneously with his orgasm, or tried to give her an orgasm when he decided the time was right. Fourth, in spite of the so-called sexual revolution, which is said to have liberated women sexually, many women complained that the men they knew still ‘wanted to play games’, and were unable to accept the woman as an independent person, were unable to treat her as anything but a sex object, and felt threatened by a sexually ‘aggressive’ woman. In other words, they still believed in the double standard of sexual behaviour. Fifth, most women wanted sex as part of a warm, affectionate, mutually respecting relationship, and not just as a pleasurable genital sensation. British and Australian women make similar complaints about their partner’s sexual behaviour and performance, judging by letters in magazines and by surveys, similar to that made by Shere Hite in the U.S.A.
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